What Are The Stories That Can Help You Do Better?

I gave my first test last week.  That always scares me terribly because there will be students who struggle and then decide that they cannot possibly do well in my course.  One bad test and they give up.  They go crawl in a hole, so easily defeated.  They become immersed in the wrong stories, stories that begin with, “I’m dumb.  I can’t do this.”  That breaks my heart.  I want them to fight back.

For that reason, I work very hard in the week following the first test to change the narrative.  We are a product of our own stories and I want my students to be aware that they can change those stories for their own benefit.

 

Below is an email that I sent to my students last night.  We are already preparing for our next test, and I want them to think about the stories they are telling themselves as a result of the first test.  Do they need to change those stories?

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To:  My Students 

 

From:  JH 

 

As a few of you might know, I spent last summer writing a book about teaching.   It was a project that I enjoyed dearly.  I worked 70-90 hours per week and loved every second.  It allowed me to think deeply about teaching.  What can work for my students (at least some of the time)?   How can I help every student learn better?

 

The book has been out about six weeks and I have gotten great responses from readers as far away as Germany and Canada. 

 

Now, let’s make this about you. 

 

You just had your first test of the semester.   

• Some of you did great.   
• Some of you did a bit less than great.    

As I have stressed several times during the past few days, how you ultimately do in this course will likely depend on your reaction to your first test.  Will the outcome of that first test push you to be a stronger student or scare you into being a frightened student?  That, to me, is a terribly important question.  How you answer that question may be the most important thing you do during this semester in my class.  Will the first test inspire you or beat you down?

 

I am a big believer that we often succeed in life based on our expectations of ourselves.   Below, I am going to provide you with a few paragraphs directly from my teaching book.  The only thing I’ve changed from the book is the black dot lists (they are now for students rather than teachers).  I’d like for you to read these paragraphs and consider how they relate to you and your ability to succeed in my class.  Whether you made 105 or 25 on Test One, YOU CAN DO BETTER.   I believe that 100 percent. 

 

The paragraphs below are about one thing:  the stories you tell yourself, more specifically the stories you tell yourself about your work in my class.  In the book, the actual stories are for teachers, but the idea applies just as well to you as a student.  What stories are you telling yourself about our course?  Are those stories designed to provide you with optimism and enthusiasm?  Or, do they simply scare you and make you feel hopeless?  Do your stories energize you or defeat you?   

 

You are ALL bright people.  Trust me.  I know that.  You are capable of great things.  In class, I can easily picture each of you 10 years from now being a true success.   However, if you are going to fulfill your potential, you need to tell yourself stories that will push you forward and increase your belief in yourself (right now).

 

We all tell ourselves stories.  The secret is to tell yourself stories that will make you better. 

** 

 

The following is from: Transformative Education.  In case you are interested, the book is available for free at:  https://scholarship.richmond.edu/bookshelf/375/

 

(Changes from the book are shown in italics.) 

 

The Power of the Stories You Tell Yourself.   I listen to audiobooks as I drive around in my Subaru.  Whether fiction or nonfiction, my commute is always more pleasant when accompanied by the sound of a good book.  A few years ago, I listened to Wild, a memoir by Cheryl Strayed.  It is long and complex so I will omit a detailed synopsis.  However, near the beginning of this autobiographical work, the author comes to believe she has lost control of her life at least in part because of the death of her mother.  She decides to focus on a genuinely difficult challenge in hopes of regaining inner peace and stability.  In that circumstance, I might have taken up a hobby such as pottery.   

 

With virtually no experience to guide her, Strayed chose to walk 1,100 miles alone through the mountains of California and Oregon on the Pacific Crest Trail.  Even now, the risk associated with that venture strikes me as absurd.  Although she faced horribly frightening experiences during those three months, she ultimately succeeded.  She was not the fastest hiker, actually one of the slowest, but she made it.  Along the way, she encountered enormous challenges but figured out solutions to get through them all successfully. 

 

One morning I was listening to Wild as I drove to campus.  In the book at that moment, Strayed was getting ready to begin her incredibly long, difficult journey.  At the last minute, she lost her nerve and almost quit without taking the first step.  In describing her faltering emotions, she wrote a sentence that is so insightful that I literally pulled my car over to the side of the road so I could write it down.   

 

Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told.  

 

Shakespeare could not have written a better line.  “Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told.”  What an uplifting response to a personal challenge.  Those words have stuck with me like an arrow for years.  The relevance to our lives is even more apparent if we swap out the word “Fear” for alternatives such as “Hate” and “Envy” and apply the admonition to everyone.   Human beings are very much a product of the stories we tell ourselves.    

 

What holds us back from reaching our potential?  Unless we are careful, the stories we tell ourselves can create a substantial barrier, one that prevents us from achieving our desired level of success.  As the comic strip Pogo warned many decades ago, “We have met the enemy and he is us.”   

 

Consider the stories that pop up in the back of your mind when a problem occurs in one of your classes.  Do any of the following possibilities sound familiar?  They do for me because they have all crossed my own mind at one time or another.  In a moment of frustration, doubts always arise.  

• This course is just too hard.  The high school I went to was not very good. 
• I’m not as smart as these other students.  They make it look easy.  They sound so very confident. 
• I get nervous when I take a test and I can never do well.  I make silly mistakes.   
• I invariably do badly on important exams.   
• Going to college is a waste of time for me.  I’m not cut out for this.   
• I always know the material until I read a test question and then I panic and my mind goes blank.
• No matter what I try it never seems good enough. 
• I work as hard as I can, and I still manage to sound totally stupid. 

All these stories are absolute nonsense!  Our fears create such stories to give us easy excuses for avoiding difficulties, to give us permission to surrender or fail.  We allow ourselves to be held back.  Come up with better stories and you will come up with better results.    

 

Consider the stories you tell yourself and eliminate any that are drenched in fear.  Choose stories that are positive, optimistic, and productive.   

• I really want to do well, and I plan to change my study habits to enable me to start doing better. 
• The teacher believes I can learn this material.  I’ll seek more help from him as we move forward. 
• It might take work, but I know I can learn this material.  It’s not easy but it is certainly not impossible.   
• I can study more, and I can study more effectively. 
• If I take my time and focus, I can do well in this course.   One test is only a small part of the grade.  
• I like the excitement of class.  I can turn that excitement into deeper learning.   
• All of these mathematical puzzles are actually fun to work.  I don’t dread this course.   
• I didn't come to college to be lazy.  I came to college to create a better version of me.  
• The course has just started so now is the time to really put out a good effort.  I’ll work to get a bit better every day. 
• I can do this.  It is not easy material, but I can do it.  I now understand what the teacher wants from me. 

** 

Life has so many wonderful stories if we can just avoid becoming bogged down by negativity. 

 

If you are not doing as well as you want, start coming up with better stories to tell yourself.